Awful poetry.

[gonzo21]

I was talking to my friend the other night about some awful love poems she had just received from a suitor who was trying way too hard and failing badly, and promptly ran off some awful love poetry of my own in sympathetic mocking of these dreadful lines somebody had actually sent to her.

It was so bad, I was dared to post it in my journal. And having no sense of shame. I present to you all, Simon's Awful Love Poem #1:


 I have a sock
 I like to mock
mocky mocky mock
socky sock.
Sock sock sock
CAN WE HAVE SEX NOW PLZ?



And not being content to let a dead horse pass by without flogging it, Simon's Awful Love poem #2

Your eyes so blue
Like brilliant sky
Shit, your eyes are blue aren't they?
Well whatever colour they are,
they're awesome.
Like the sky.
Or the ocean.
Or something.
So poetic.
You'll just need to have sex with me.



Which reminds me of this piece I penned some time ago for Cthulhu's Valentines day, which I may as well include here for the record.


Roses are red
Violets are blue
Hold still baby
While I tentacle fuck you.


Simon's Awful Love poem #3.

You move me
like an escalator.
Going down.
See what I did there?


And finally, Simon's Awful Love Poem #4.

Deep heart
Big pond
Strong feelings
Splash.